Duct tape has a thousand uses, but 900 of them involve suspending someone from the ceiling.
Duct tape fixes all problems, like your friends being able to defend themselves.
"Duct Tape your RA to the wall at University of Missouri-Rolla."
Not only is it comfy for your knees, but it's made of bubble-wrap and duct tape!
Handsfree reading via duct tape. A team of well trained bumblebees turn the pages for him.
"We thought we had to teach you Amercans the proper use of duct tape."