I was having sex with my girlfriend with the movie gladiator playing quietly in the background. She finished right before the epic scene which prompted me to raise my arms and yell "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?"
...good thing I saw that...
This sign in the hospital made me scratch my head.
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The Ideal Woman
Her shirt is actually made of beef jerky.
Facebook Abortion
Looks like she's found a new workout for weight loss.
Little Girl Smash
"Next time don't interrupt my nap, Mom."
Bouncy House Beside Real House
Real estate prices in the neighborhood just skyrocketed.
How Do You Study For Finals
At least his textbook won't suffer water damage. It's still in the plastic wrap.
Insanely Flexible Pool Player
Using the bridge just seemed too easy.
Fixed it!
The kind of sports you can expect to see on ESPN17
Oh good, my package came. I've got a big night ahead of me.
And that's why you always leave a note
Siri, what is the temperature... because I just got burned!
Pfft I listened to polka covers of arena rock before it was cool
Forever a zone
The other side of Adele's story
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
