I was having sex with my girlfriend with the movie gladiator playing quietly in the background. She finished right before the epic scene which prompted me to raise my arms and yell "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?"
Out drink me?
Me and some friends went to Cleveland stadium for the NFL Draft on Saturday. It just so happens that the Cavs were playing as well as an Indians home game (which we attended). This is me and my buddy's father-in-law. He said he could "easily" out drink me
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Little Girl Smash
"Next time don't interrupt my nap, Mom."
Nudity Is Required In All Pools
This family trip is about to get awkward.
Nipple Wizard
"You're a wizard, hairy."
Goth Kids With Santa
They're slowly killing him by sucking all the joy away.
Bikini Girl Rock Climbing
Once she reaches the top she has to defeat Miley Cyrus in a fist fight.
Dear Person in My Bed
Yours truly, Person That Hates You
Fixed it!
The kind of sports you can expect to see on ESPN17
Oh good, my package came. I've got a big night ahead of me.
And that's why you always leave a note
Siri, what is the temperature... because I just got burned!
Pfft I listened to polka covers of arena rock before it was cool
Forever a zone
The other side of Adele's story
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
