Ugh, can't we try missionary? Just once?

It's too damn cold for a penguin to be just walkin' around.

I told him to duck!

HAHAHHA but seriously I am going to eat your soul.

You may ask the swami one question.

Hey-a-Boo Boo! How-a-bout we steal a ice-a-cold cooler and terrible?

My dog loves it, it's like a head-out-the-window gun.

You always make me be the big spoon.

Wait a second! If his hands are up, who is driving!?

"How to spot a redneck DUI."

Fine, but next time we have to do it ducky-style.

Once you go giraffe you never go... biraffe.

Dog or rabid Ewok?

Bitch slapped.

They call that stalking? This is so fake, he would totally be dead by now. Trust me.

The race ended in a 5-way tie.

My sister gave me this un-regiftable mess for Christmas.

Pssst....is the coast clear?

"You think this jacket is embarrassing? What about the monkey mask?" Thought this two year old girl.

You think you're having a bad day?

This piece is called, "Screech and Lisa Turtle."

Don't worry, there's barely any chicken in KFC!

I didn't know dogs did anything but doggy style.

In his new movie, Van Damme plays a squirrel.

Never try to slow dance with a shark.

The only thing I love more than gravy is you.

"Hungry for souls."

Someone left this bear out and it melted.

Photographer or Murderer? You make the call. Seriously, the phone number is right there. Just inquire.

This is a delicacy in...weirdo foreign kid books.

Low five!

Imagine drinking a beer that's half your size.

But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes...

i can haz anarchy?

Emo dog says: "My life is ruff!"

They kill it, we grill it.

This is more of a human fail than dog fail.

I SAID GET ME A TREAT!

When I squeeze, he winks.

Moments later, he was dead.

In his new movie, Van Damme plays a squirrel.

"Hungry for souls."

Low five!

Imagine drinking a beer that's half your size.

But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes...

i can haz anarchy?

Emo dog says: "My life is ruff!"

Moments later, he was dead.

"Let's just hope it never acquires super powers."

The pork company couldn't figured out why their new "FunMeatz!" campaign wasn't winning back vegetarians as planned.

"He's actually just a seeing eye dog and he was telling her she can't shit there."

All dogs go to heaven. Especially this one, very soon.

Babe Pig in the City: The Streets

Seahorse wrangler is a terrible job.

He only drinks when he's depressed.

The ugliest puppy ever.

That dog is currently watching Animal Planet in his brain.

Not the face, bro. Not the face.

Online ad placement strikes again.

Makes a terrible stress ball.