Lazer Crotch Kitten Tag - the extreme sport of the future.

This guy ate Underdog.

"How do porcupines mate? Very carefully."

I don't see what the big deal with Michael Vick is, who hasn't electrocuted a dog?

Woof. Kill me. Woof.

Sir, what's that smell? I'm going to have to ask you and the dog to step out of the car.

"Ain't that the truth."

Hey Falcons fans who hate animals, Michael Vick jerseys are now cheap.

What the fuck are you looking at, ducks? Yeah, that's right. Keep walking.

Poor dog.

You heard it here first - within 2 years, Michael Vick will appear in a WWE match.

Drank too much last night and passed out that way.

I slapped the monkey high five as we drove by.

Fine, you take it!

"He looks sort of like he wants to kill himself."

Wouldn't it be cool if cats floated away sometimes?

Cotwear?

Yeah, deal with it.

The most terrifying animal in the world.

Gotta love keyword-targeted advertising.

This piece is called, "Screech and Lisa Turtle."

Don't worry, there's barely any chicken in KFC!

I didn't know dogs did anything but doggy style.

In his new movie, Van Damme plays a squirrel.

Never try to slow dance with a shark.

The only thing I love more than gravy is you.

"Hungry for souls."

Someone left this bear out and it melted.

Photographer or Murderer? You make the call. Seriously, the phone number is right there. Just inquire.

This is a delicacy in...weirdo foreign kid books.

Low five!

Imagine drinking a beer that's half your size.

But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes...

i can haz anarchy?

Emo dog says: "My life is ruff!"

They kill it, we grill it.

This is more of a human fail than dog fail.

I SAID GET ME A TREAT!

When I squeeze, he winks.

Moments later, he was dead.

In his new movie, Van Damme plays a squirrel.

"Hungry for souls."

Low five!

Imagine drinking a beer that's half your size.

But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes...

i can haz anarchy?

Emo dog says: "My life is ruff!"

Moments later, he was dead.

"Let's just hope it never acquires super powers."

The pork company couldn't figured out why their new "FunMeatz!" campaign wasn't winning back vegetarians as planned.

"He's actually just a seeing eye dog and he was telling her she can't shit there."

All dogs go to heaven. Especially this one, very soon.

Babe Pig in the City: The Streets

Seahorse wrangler is a terrible job.

He only drinks when he's depressed.

The ugliest puppy ever.

That dog is currently watching Animal Planet in his brain.

Not the face, bro. Not the face.

Online ad placement strikes again.

Makes a terrible stress ball.