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10 Ridiculous Crime Headlines

Duck Found Stabbed

Duck Found Stabbed

We need to get Darkwing Duck on this case.

1
Thief Asked for Directions

Thief Asked for Directions

Make a left, spend a few years in prison, and you're there.

2
Man in A-Team Van gets Tased

Man in A-Team Van gets Tased

Police had no pity for this fool.

3
Homicide Victims Rarely Talk to Police

Homicide Victims Rarely Talk to Police

In fact they're dead silent.

4
Violent Crime Duo Caught

Violent Crime Duo Caught

And we've been letting them entertain our children this whole time.

5
Man Arrested for Running with Scissors

Man Arrested for Running with Scissors

Sources say he could have poked his eyes out.

6
Boy Glued Granny to Toilet

Boy Glued Granny to Toilet

Sounds like a really happy family.

7
Secret Agent Drank 100 Beers

Secret Agent Drank 100 Beers

The not-so-secret agent.

8
Man Tried to Take Kitten into Strip Club

Man Tried to Take Kitten into Strip Club

They have a strict age limit.

9
Guy Brings Knife to a Gun Store

Guy Brings Knife to a Gun Store

"Don't bring a knife to a gun fight" brought to the next level.

10

This just in: idiocy.