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10 Real Patents for Bizarre Products

Condom with Testicle Bag

Condom with Testicle Bag

Because when I'm having sex, I want my balls to be as constricted as possible.

1
Figurine for Displaying Human Baby Teeth and Hair

Figurine for Displaying Human Baby Teeth and Hair

That's right, it's a doll that you outfit with your child's teeth and hair. Sure to give your child hours of enjoyment and months of nightmares.

2
Readily Portable Burrito

Readily Portable Burrito

Burritos are already portable. If anything adding a stick makes them messier.

3
Toilet Training Assembly For Cats

Toilet Training Assembly For Cats

This one is actually pretty useful, but still very strange.

4
Fart Filter Cushion

Fart Filter Cushion

"Flatulence Filter Seat Cushion for Absorbing Odor and Providing Sound Attenuation from an Anal Discharge of a Seated Individual"

Wouldn't people still know you're farting if you're sitting in the seat?

5
Vibrating Toilet Seat

Vibrating Toilet Seat

Why?

6
Stuffed Animal with Built-In Time-Keeping Device

Stuffed Animal with Built-In Time-Keeping Device

Cute and cuddly on the outside, cold clockwork on the inside. Just what every kid wants.

7
Glove With Hand-Coloring Material

Glove With Hand-Coloring Material

This is a glove that colors your hand when you take it off to "remind you to wash your hands." I usually member to wash my hands because my hands smell like a sweaty glove.

8
Dog Nose Art

Dog Nose Art

Be an artist, paint your dog's nose.

9
Vagina and Vulva Cooling and Heating Device

Vagina and Vulva Cooling and Heating Device

If this is enough of a problem to buy this device, you might better spend that money on a visit to the doctor.

10

These are all 100% real patents filed with the US patent office. Now I'm not saying that these don't have a use: I'm sure if I needed to know the time and the only thing around was a clock teddy bear, I'd be grateful to have it. It's just that many of these seem poorly thought it. But judge for yourself. Here's 10 bizarre patents filed with the patent office. If you want to know more information about any of these, you can find them on Google Patent Search.