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"She fit into the dog carrier."
From the "Why Didn't I Think Of That?" file - a bottle opener for your sandals.
"Take up your moped and follow me."
They should make keyboard pillows for people like this.
Her mind looks like it's somewhere else.
Nacho average butt tattoo!
It only cost $64 and four hours.
North Dakota, home of the rat tail.
How do you amuse yourself at stop lights?
Emo safety helmets.
The empty cans are cutting my - oh my god everyone get out.
"Homeless crossdresser, Leslie, in Austin biting my sister's boob for a quarter."
I think the fire trucks should be allowed to idle if they want.
Seriously, I flick pennies for a living.
So dark the cum of man.
"About me: I've been in the television business for the past 25 years with three stations."
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