Hard to read, so let me help."If you or someone you know touched a bat near [blah blah blah] Environmental Health & Safety needs to talk to you. [blah blah blah]."
Fuck you, high school.
"The Watercooler"
They lowered the standards...
I'd rather turn red than blue.
Got a little too toasted and...
More shots from the Denial Island brochure.
Never cock-smack a tiger.
I'm just surprised more people aren't staring.
Canine teabagging.
"2 in the afternoon and this guy stumbles past our table. This is no joke, and was not staged. He was like this for 10 minutes until his buddies moved him. He never fell, never moved."
"Someone, somehow managed to put a green toilet atop the 4-story-high clock tower of the NMT Library. there are no stairs leading to the top of the tower, and it is 2 stories taller the the library itself."

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