Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
"Damn I drove all the way out here for nothing."
"My friend has a buddy that works in the University registrar and when he had his ID made, his friend put this name on it. He didn't notice until two weeks later. He then told the University, who gave him free text books and fired his friend."
"Meh, Van Damme can do it better," said the guy who was missing the point.
If the jet ski doesn't work, someone could just pop him with a pin and he'd go flying.
Be safe - nobody wants to go on Spring break and come back married!
"Lesson 28 - Lock the dorm room door before going out on Saturday night." Lesson 29 - find something to do on Saturday nights besides crumpling up newspaper.
No deposit on the kegs, eh?
If they touch, an angel gets it's wings.
How did this go wrong?
Uh oh, have you seen my keys?
When you have to load up your beer purchase with a fork lift, it's going to be a fun night.
Let's test out your theory. I really like your tattoo.
I'd like to see a Christmas sweater do that.
"We were tired of kneeling."
She looks bored, like they've been doing this for a few hours already.
Looks like they're dealing drugs.
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We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.