Why Jackass has all the disclaimers.
The biggest lie is that she exists at all.
For everyone but you.
Anti-gravity prank.
"Beer was spilled upstairs, and as I walked downstairs I noticed it was dripping through the floor.  My friend and I decided it was imperative to not waste a drop."
Know what works better than duct tape? Cement.
"I was wondering why the police were driving so fast."
I once sucked dick for books.
"We took this guy's picture and then he followed us down the street and into a GNC where he started yelling, 'I haven't farted in such a long time!  These vitamins make me farted!"
"Satan's coming."

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