Comedy Music Hall of Fame
Jake and Amir
Adam Ruins Everything
WTF is going on
Idiots on Facebook
The Graphic Truth
Three is the perfect number of girls to be making out. If there were four, we couldn't see the nucleus.
The downside is they have to stare at the wall for the rest of the Halloween party.
My tattoo is too big.
Perry Bible Fellowship #199 - Missing School.
"Mount Keystone? I don't want to talk about it-we lost a lot of good men out there."
Most people who break their ankle three days before their 21st birthday would just sulk. This girl turned lemons into lemonade.
Are you the police? No m'am, we're pumpkins.
If you know four willing girls, why not live the dream for one night?
"Colbert was the grand marshal of Northwestern's homecoming parade."
"This kid let anyone who wanted to open-handed slap him as hard as they could."
With the money you spent on all that natty, could have bought fifteen items off the McDonald's dollar menu.
PLEASE, TELL ME ABOUT THE FUCKING GOLF SHOES!
If only it were a DeLorean.
I can't drink my Mike's Hard unless they are chilled.
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Don't ask me again.