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Don't tell me - hot dogs, relish, and Everclear!
"Forty five minutes after he woke up, he freed a hand and cut himself loose with a paring knife.  He then went on a rampage with a fire extinguisher.  And those are pans with silverware on his back to let us know when he wakes up."
The Green Goblin hit him with some knockout gas!
That night, he dreamt he had cancer.
Irish ping is played just like normal ping pong, except after you score a point you get to hit the other person in the back with the pong ball as hard as you can hit it.
Lazy man's sign vandalism.
"I dressed as Stephen Colbert for Halloween.  I made a way too elaborate "C" shaped desk.  I used twine and safety pins to keep it suspended around me all night.  Also, I held The Word sign up all night.  That is, until I passed out on my couch."
"Why did you marry the guy?""He makes me laugh."
Best costumes yet?
Creepy guy as the creepy girl from The Ring.
Just asking to be peed on.

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