Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
"For those family vacations to the Arctic."
One day a shaming is going to go overboard and someone's going to wake up without an arm.
You either get it or you look down on people who do.
What's this one say? 1 hour of what? God damn it, I knew I should have sprung for the glow-in-the-dark ones.
"With Jack Bauer returning from China, it was only right to bake him a cake..."
This summer, Sylvester Stallone stars in "Clit Hanger"
"I call it... Petoria. I was going to call it Peterland, but that gay bar by the airport took it."
Wait, you got that one right and the one below it wrong?
Is that a jock strap? Not that I was lookin'.
"My friends and I were in a local porn shop killing time and saw this guy. Pic was taken with my phone, but a look at the titles across the bottom will confirm it's a porn shop, and this guy has his baby there." Yeah right, killing time.
He's pointing at himself because he knows he's the man.
Whoever has this license plate has likely been pwn3d by life.
I think this is Facebook's way of giving you a high five.
Sir, I'm going to need to take a look inside your cargo.
Not pictured: a bumper sticker that read, "If you can read this, I'm already mad at you."
Check this out guys, I can wrap my udder all the way around my hoof. I call it a wrist watch.
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Don't ask me again.