"My friend finally lost her virginity, and so I made her a cake, complete with cherry laffy-taffy labia and chocolate-sprinkle pubes." I don't see the cherry, I guess someone lost it.
We put a magical hat on it, and it came to life.
At least he didn't try to iron his pants.
'tis always the season
Have you ever been writing a paper and, out of sheer boredom, you type something silly and vulgar just to see what it would look like? Did you ever forget to take it out?
The dog's face says "can you believe this shit?"
Why did the box fan stay on the floor?
There's more than one way to tap a keg.
You goin' to the club tonight? DJ Papa's spinning.
Santa Claus probably gets so much pussy.
"During the holidays, remember to wrap it up."

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