Several years after the Esurance commercials, Erin Esurance finally settled down with her husband, William. The following takes place after William has arrived home from work.

William: Hey, Honey, how was your day?

Erin: What the fuck is this?

William: Whoa, what?

Erin: This bill. Your insurance bill. I found it in your dresser.

William: Oh god… I swear I was going to tell you…

Erin: GEICO I hate that GECKO!

William: Honey, please…

Erin: I trusted you! How could you do this to me?

William: It’s insurance! Calm the hell down! Did you take your pills this morning?

Erin: I don't need those pills… Mother was right about you!

William: Let me exp-… I’ve never even met your mother!

Erin: And you never will. I killed her.

William: Wha- what the fuck?

Erin: She knew too much.

William: You’ve completely lost it! You sell insurance! You aren’t a spy!

Erin: Stop trying to change the subject! What the hell are you doing with Geico?

William: I shouldn’t have to explain myself t-…

Erin: crying JUST TELL ME!

William: Fine. I just think it’s weird having an insurance card printed out at home, seriously. And when am I ever in a hurry anymore? We live in a townhouse in Illinois. Jesus Christ, woman. Calm down.

Erin: I think we’re through. I'm taking the kids.

William: I figured this would happen. Wait… We don't have kids! Those commercials went to your head. You need to see a doctor, you have a problem.

Erin: Oh, I have the problem, Mr. Geico Insurance. Esurance is so simple. Just quote, buy, print.

William: It costs more than my insurance now!


William: You know what? You do have a problem. You aren’t a god damned spy. And guess what else? I slept with Laura from Nationwide, you psycho.


Erin: Quote, buy, print. Now where did I leave those drugs?