Several years after the Esurance commercials, Erin Esurance finally settled down with her husband, William. The following takes place after William has arrived home from work.
William: Hey, Honey, how was your day?
Erin: What the fuck is this?
William: Whoa, what?
Erin: This bill. Your insurance bill. I found it in your dresser.
William: Oh god… I swear I was going to tell you…
Erin: GEICO I hate that GECKO!
William: Honey, please…
Erin: I trusted you! How could you do this to me?
William: It’s insurance! Calm the hell down! Did you take your pills this morning?
Erin: I don't need those pills
Mother was right about you!
William: Let me exp-… I’ve never even met your mother!
Erin: And you never will. I killed her.
William: Wha- what the fuck?
Erin: She knew too much.
William: You’ve completely lost it! You sell insurance! You aren’t a spy!
Erin: Stop trying to change the subject! What the hell are you doing with Geico?
William: I shouldn’t have to explain myself t-…
Erin: crying JUST TELL ME!
William: Fine. I just think it’s weird having an insurance card printed out at home, seriously. And when am I ever in a hurry anymore? We live in a townhouse in Illinois. Jesus Christ, woman. Calm down.
Erin: I think we’re through. I'm taking the kids.
William: I figured this would happen. Wait We don't have kids! Those commercials went to your head. You need to see a doctor, you have a problem.
Erin: Oh, I have the problem, Mr. Geico Insurance. Esurance is so simple. Just quote, buy, print.
William: It costs more than my insurance now!
Erin: But it’s BETTER! QUOTE. BUY. PRINT. QUOTE. BUY. PRINT. IT’S SO EASY!
William: You know what? You do have a problem. You aren’t a god damned spy. And guess what else? I slept with Laura from Nationwide, you psycho.
Erin: Quote, buy, print. Now where did I leave those drugs?