Hey everyone, Home Plate (our sex column) is back and now being written by long-time CH contributor, Mindy Raf. Enjoy!

There's a naked person in your bed. He/She is attending to you orally, and you’re in pain. You fear his facial stubble might cause internal damage/you’ll kick her in the face if her nose ring stud rubs against it one more time.

Confronting another person (especially a naked person) is really hard. If you simply tell someone to do something chances are they won’t, or they’ll get defensive. And not just in sexual situations. Like say, for example, you have a big busted friend who’s about to leave the house wearing daisy duke shorts and a baby tee that has two cows across the breasts and the words, “Got Milk?” written underneath. And say she says to you: "So how does this look? Should I wear this to the party?”

Naturally you’d respond with: “No, Mindy Raf* you should NOT wear that. What is your problem? Are you trying to look like a nasty milk-lovin’ whore?!

But that would only make Mindy defensive and respond with:“Shut up bitch! You’re just jealous that I can pull this off and you can’t!”

And then Mindy would tragically leave the house only to embark on a night full of fending off men who drunkenly attempt to suckle milk from her unsupportive breasts./p>

So instead of saying “Are you trying to look like a nasty milk-lovin’ whore?!” Mindy’s friend should have tried a more tactful and proactive confrontation that involved clarifying the cause of the problem and explaining its effects.

“Mindy, the wearing of daisy duke shorts and a baby tee with two cows across the breasts will only result in you waking up naked and alone in a frat house with a napkin stuck to your forehead that reads, “Nice meeting you, milk girl!”

Mindy would then respond with:

“Oh, wow! I don’t want that to happen. I’ll go change. Thanks!”

So in the spirit of tactful confrontation, I’ve made a short list of ways you can transform bad confrontation into good confrontation. Feel free to add to the list if you like and…you’re welcome

Bad Confrontation

Good Confrontation

“Get your pinky out of my ass. Asshole!”

“Sweetie, when you stick your pinky in my ass, it makes me angry, and angry girls give bad head.

“Trim your nails if you’re going to play with my balls bitch!"

“Sweetie, when you play with my balls with un-trimmed nails it causes me pain and makes me question if I really love you."

“Stop biting down so hard on my nipples, freak”

“Baby, when you bit my nipples like that it causes me pain and makes me question if I really want to have sex with you.”

“Would you just stick the whole thing in your mouth already?!”

“Sweetie, the sooner you stick my whole cock in your mouth, the sooner …we can cuddle.

“Ugh, if I wanted a bad finger bang I would have hooked up with a fourteen year old!”

“Baby, when you just jam at it with your fingers it causes me pain and makes me less likely to have sex with you.”

“I can’t believe you fucked my best friend! You’re such a whore!”

“Sweetie, when you have intercourse with all my friends it makes me think bad thoughts about you; like that you’re a whore.”

“Ugh, your balls reek!”

“Sweetie, when you don’t shower regularly it nauseates me and nauseous girls don’t give good head.”

“Anal is just painful the first time. Come on, don’t be such a prude!”

Baby, the sooner you let me do you from behind the sooner we can . . .cuddle.

The name Mindy Raf is used here simply because it's convenient and not because I ever woredaisy duke shorts and ababy tee with two cows on the breasts with the words "Got Milk?" written across at a bar called Ricky's, on a Wednesday night, in the spring of 2002, in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

*The scenario of menharassing “Mindy” and attempting to suckle milk from her breasts is used here merely as an example and not becauseI ever had men attempt to suckle milk from my breasts at a bar called Ricky’s, on a Wednesday night, in the spring of 2002, in Ann Arbor, Michigan

*Mindy Raf is not licensed therapist. The advice in this column is for entertainment purposes only. Mindy is not responsible for your girlfriend/boyfriend breaking up with you.

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