• "Man, Pauly Shore will never get old."
  • "The USA Basketball team will dominate the Olympics for eternity."
  • "What? Hockey's never gonna stop being popular!"
  • "Seriously though, Bio-Dome? Comedic gold!"
  • "This Will Ferrell guy on SNL is going absolutely nowhere."
  • "The Bulls are immortal! Unforunately the same can't be said about Michael Jordan's father!"
  • "Tupac and Biggie are gonna patch things up real soon, everything will be fine."
  • "Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman will never break up."
  • "The Cowboys could probably win, like, 3 more Super Bowls."
  • God Tracy Chapman is awesome, she's not going ANYWHERE!
  • "I know it's like 5 years late, but I'm so glad the Gulf War is over. I hope our soldiers never go back."