Haven't started on that term paper whose extensionexpires tomorrow? No worries, just follow these simpleguidelines and you'll be on your way to completion.


Quote Entire Pages

Once in a while you'll come across a source that's based on the exact same thing as your own paper. To avoid "plagarism" (Muller 1998:4),justincorporate giantchunks oftheir brillianceinto your article. Then just cite at the end and write the rest of your paper without mentioning the quote. It's easier that way.


Make Up Sources

Can't find any sourcesthat mention howUr Nammu humped camels and suffered from acute lymphoma? No worries, just make shit up. But remember, you also have to make up the publisher and book/article title. This works best if you write your paper without sources, then simply go back and put quotation marks around random sentences.


Meth

Adderol is for pussies, so man up and cook yourself some speed. It'll keep you awake all night and make the writing process a generally euphoric experience. Just remember to go back later and edit out things such as "aaahhhhhhhh they're coming for me holy christ the legos are eating my waffle they're going to kill me help me paper clip for the love of god"


Separate Every Word of a Quote With [sic]

This underappreciatedlinguistic device is used to let the reader know that they aren't reading a typo in the quotation that the author is referecing[sic]. Show yourprofessors just how accurate you really are by guaranteeing the accuracy of 100% of each quote. They'll love you for it.


$$$

It doesn't matter what college you go to, there's always going to be one entrepreneurial Asian who will gladly do your paper. Typically it runs anywhere from 10 to20 dollars per page, depending on their fluency in English.