From the desk of Superman
Conference Hall A
Justice League Watchtower
Space

Hey guys,
I just finished watching "An Inconvenient Truth" and it blew. me. away. We've totally been neglecting the environment and it inspired me to make some changes around the ol' League.

  • Our headquarters' location. Having the Watchtower in space is nice and all, but do you know how much pollution this space-station emits? Just because we're not on Earth doesn't mean we can't help out – So we're relocating to Raleigh, North Carolina. The climate's warmer than the Andromeda Galaxy and the downtown's really cool, with all these old record shops and cafes and stuff. I'm SUPER excited, hahahaha.
  • Batman and Robin have to use a tandem bicycle from now on. The Batmobile is a major gas-guzzler and you guys don't need all that space anyway.
  • We're replacing Wonder Woman's invisible plane with an invisible hybrid. It just makes sense.
  • Green Lantern, we're replacing your current lantern with a solar-powered lantern. It, isn't green, but we all have to make sacrifices. Also, turn your power ring OFF when you're not using it.
  • The Flash is pretty efficient already, so you're cool. But on an unrelated note, you owe me 5 bucks for pizza the other night, no biggie- just whenever you get it.
  • Aquaman, you're generally useless. So your new job is cleaning debris from the water. Sorry to be such a D about this. Thanks!
See you next week when we'll be watching and mocking Spiderman 3!

Yours truly,
The Big Guy