It's the end of the term, more or less, and papers are due and exams need studying for, and time is running short. Therefore, the only logical response is to waste as much time as humanly possible.

Whether it's spending hours mastering stupid flash games, or trolling comment threads, or watching videos of people getting hit in the nuts, all procrastination aims towards the same three things.

First, to avoid doing whatever work has to be done, or, for that matter, work in any way, shape, or form. Sorry people with jobs, that doesn't count.

Second, to waste time. Clearly, we have too much of it on our hands, and need to get rid of it. Therefore anything productive, again, doesn't count. This includes learning to play that guitar that's been collecting dust over in the corner, sleeping, eating, writing this stupid article, or really anything else that will produce some visible or useful end.

Third, the goal is to still actually complete (most) of the requirements, at least the ones that you can't get extensions for. For some people this is the least important step, but, it's not procrastination if you don't eventually get the work done, however hastily or effortlessly (plagiarized…ly) that might be.

So, keeping these in mind, here are a few suggestions:

1) Studying is a waste of time. Instead of studying, just write all the information you'll need for an exam on your pants. You can't be asked to remove your pants in the exam room.

2) Video games and flash games on the internet seem like an easy way to kill lots of time, and they are. However, over reliance on video games, or, really anything computer-based will eventually lead to that inevitable moment when your eyeballs start to ache enough to tell you that you've been on the computer entirely longer than is acceptable. Also, if you're a computer science major this probably counts as some kind of studying

3) Drinking. Drinking is a great way to put off doing things, because it's not only entirely unproductive, but often destructive, a definite bonus. Drinking also ensures a commitment to wasting time, since even hours after you're done, there's no way you're going to be able to do any work, or retain any informatin. (also I think there's a pun on 'wasted' time I should be making here but I'm really not feeling it)

4) If you don't smoke weed, start. If you already do, start calling a new delivery service, or start calling the slowest delivery service you already know. This way you can call for weed, have an excuse not to work while you wait for it, smoke up, and then waste countless hours.

5) Procrastination isn't just for borderline failures and drop-outs, either. Spread the wealth! Have a nerdy roommate, or a friend taking a class seriously and spending time at the library to study? Convince them to come along on some time consuming and relatively mundane task, pressure them into erasing all that hard won knowledge by learning firsthand that it is, in fact, possible to get alcohol poisoning twice in one night. Whatever it takes, a true friend/acquaintance/total stranger makes sure that everyone around him wastes time as successfully and efficiently as he does.

There's tons of other good ways too, but, well I'm bored of doing this now, and far too lazy to continue. Hopefully this has helped someone be just that much better at procrastination.