"Holy shit! It is hot down there! Am I—am I actually making people spend eternity in that place? I'm a monster!" -God

"Goddamn, it is cold out here!" -Napoleon Bonaparte

"You know, there's probably some kid who's losing his virginity right now, and I bet he's pretty damn happy." -Lou Gehrig

"Maybe I should just pick a whore and stick with her." -Henry VIII

"I am not doing well. I should probably cut my losses and leave this poker game—hey, two pair!" -Wild Bill Hickok

"Goddamn, it is cold out here!" -Adolf Hitler

"Who am I kidding? This isn't going to start a race war!" -Charles Manson

"I shouldn't have let Bob win at Rock-Paper-Scissors. I totally would be riding shotgun right now." -John F. Kennedy