Dear Mr. Timberlake and Mr. Samberg,
The United Parcel Service recently viewed your postal tutorial concerning the proper packaging of goods. However, many of us found numerous errors in your demonstration and would like to request that you remove the aforementioned tutorial from circulation. To begin with, standard US shipping boxes are pre-designed with flaps to allow for the mailer to place their goods inside. As such, there is no need to “cut a hole in the box.” Any attempt to do so would result in said goods falling out of the package.
Additionally, while UPS is dedicated to the shipment of quality items throughout the country, we feel that your use of the term “junk” in conjunction with the previously specified goods is inappropriate, implying that our customers' packages contain items of little worth. It is neither our custom nor our policy to treat our customer’s shipments with anything less than the greatest care and safety, no matter what they may contain.
Lastly, we strongly disagree with your final point concerning the opening of shipments. We are not in business to “make her open the box.” Our job is strictly limited to deliveries. Any attempt to interfere with the customer following the delivery of parcels is in direct violation of Section B32 of UPS Regulations and could potentially have serious repercussions for the employee involved. Should you ever decide to produce another tutorial, please be more tactful.