Choo-choo! The Excuse Train has pulled into the station. Um, Monday – Wednesday I was at home, and my internet doesn't work very well there, and plus I don't know what time Idol is actually on. So I didn't watch it until about an hour ago. Also my dog kept catching baby bunnies and I had to keep taking them back to their nest. It was an exciting and tumultuous time. Especially for the bunnies.

Barry Gibb was the mentor this week, and he's probably the coolest person in the entire world. Case in point: He was totally fine with everything Blake did, unlike previous mentors, who have been all, "Blake, why you gotta be fucking up my song with your mouth garbage?" Also Simon was wearing a WHITE shirt. What the hell?! Oh, also everyone sings twice, because really, why not?

1. Melinda – "Love You Inside And Out"
I love her inside and out. She's so precious. It wasn't the best thing ever, and I know I sound like Paula here, but honestly, who cares? People are going to vote for Melinda no matter what she does.

2. Blake – "You Should Be Dancing"
Blake beat boxed on this song, and Randy was all, "Yo, dog, you ain't gotta beat box every time, dog." Which I sort of agree with. I'm not sure what else Blake has going for him at this point (besides being the only white person and the only boy and the only one who's different from the other three…. Oh.), but it seemed superfluous in this song.

3. LaKisha – "Stayin' Alive"
I thought she did a really good job on this. The judges hated it, and as usual, she ignored the advice of her mentor, but as I was listening to it, I thought that it would actually work as a decent cover. Like, I could picture people dancing to it in some sort of strange Idol Meets the 1970s club.

4. Jordin – "To Love Somebody"
I love her dress. I wish she wasn't wearing it with a pair of jeans. Oh well, she's only 17. She'll learn how to dress herself later, I guess. Also she totally cleaned up with this song.

5. Melinda – "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart"
It was very nice. Not awesome, but ever since "My Funny Valentine," she's pretty much been coasting on very nice, so that's fine.

6. Blake – "This is Where I Come In"
I love the way Blake dresses. He's so nerdy cool, and his singing style is so 80s, and his dancing is so awesome. I want to go to gay clubs with him. Or I would, if I didn't hate gay people so much. (I'm basically kidding. Gay people are harmless.) I thought this was kind of boring, really, but it had some nice colorful lights.

7. LaKisha – "Run to Me"
Judge Judy was in the audience! And that's all I remember about this one. Except that LaKisha's dress looked totally r.tarded.

8. Jordin – "Woman in Love"
Jordin is really fucking gorgeous. The song wasn't awesome. It sounded a lot better in rehearsal with B.G. Still, I suspect that Jordin will win this whole thing.

AND NOW FOR ELIMINATIONS!!!!!

LaKisha and Blake (sporting a very classy tuxedo t-shirt) were the bottom two, and obviously LaKisha is going home, not just because she always looks bored and never moves her top lip and is fat, but probably also because there are two other people here who do exactly what she does, only slightly better. Sorry "KiKi." We'll miss you.