Last Friday night myself, my roommate Mike, and my former roommate Adam, went to a party at a frat house that we spend too much time at. After a few hours of drinking and chain smoking and telling freshman we were on the lacrosse team we decided it was time to head back to the home front. On the way out the door Adam invited two girls to come to my apartment and watch movies. Unaware that we were not actually on the lacrosse team, they accepted his invitation. After watching most of Sahara and smoking all of my cigarettes I passed out on the couch.
When I woke up the next morning the girls were still there. This didn't arouse my suspicions until I looked at my phone and saw that it was 4pm. Confused and hung over, I said good morning and went into my room to shower and change. When I went back in the living room the girls were ordering food and brushing their teeth in the kitchen sink. What was going on? I didn't know these girls at all, I hadn't even slept with any of them, and they were ordering food Chinese food like they were in this thing for the long haul. What were their intentions? They didn't seem sexually interested in either me or Mike, so if they weren't looking for lovers what were they looking for friends? Terrified, I hid in my room for most of the next two days and kept a journal of what transpired, in hopes that younger generations can learn from my struggle.
Sat. 5:30pmI've awoken to find that they are still here. If I stay quiet maybe they'll think I'm asleep and leave. Oh god, they've heard me. It's too late to hide. Maybe one of them will bum me a cigarette.
Sat. 7:15pmThey've asked me to come to the living room and drink with them. I think the safest option at this point is to keep my mouth shut and cooperate.
Sat. 11:15pmI've become intoxicated, as have they. I am concerned that the now lack of clarity in my thought processes will impede my efforts to force them out oh my god I love this song.
Sun. 10:45am I think I've had intercourse with one of them. I suspect this because I awoke next to her in the nude. Currently she's in the shower. Now that I've forged a "relationship" with one of them, our only hope for them to leave is the dearth of supplies. The war of attrition has begun I only hope I have the strength to wait them out.
Sun. 5:15pmThey've exhausted all of our supplies and just rented Fever Pitch on demand. I've resigned myself to the fact that they may never leave, that I may never leave. I'm quite enjoying Fever Pitch though.
Sun. 9:15pmThe skinny one that I hooked up with last night is kinda cute, If I play my cards right I might be able to swing that again.
Sun. 9:18pmThat was awesome, I seriously wish they would leave now though.
Mon. 10:30amMy prayers have been answered. The two of them left this morning, quietly and unexpectedly. It's all over. Despite the horrors that I have seen and felt over the last 72 hours, I still think people are generally good. Good night and god bless.
A full week later, it still pains me to look back on those events. Even when I do, it doesn't seem like they were happening to me, rather I feel like a detached observer, an omniscient narrator of my own experience. This makes it a little easier for me. People often ask me if I feel I'm a better man for what I've gone through, what I've endured. Better man I'm not sure, but am I a changed man, yes.
What I'd hope people take from this is the unalienable truth that even at those times when one's faith in humanity is shook to the very core, you must hold firm to the belief that the dynamic human spirit can and will overcome any injustice and hardship that is thrust upon it. And at least I didn't hook up with the fat one.