-If you zone out into your own fantasy world for about 30 seconds while talking to someone, people often won’t seem to notice.

-If your best friend is black, it’s ok to constantly bring his skin color up in daily conversation (i.e. referring to him as “brown bear” regularly).

-If you commit sexual harassment on a daily basis, the consequences are mitigated by following every innuendo or unwanted advance with a high five.

-Treating a dead and stuffed dog like a live one is perfectly acceptable.

-If you are a janitor, it isn’t important that anyone knows your real name.

-Even if you act like a complete nerd most of the time, you can still end up sleeping with some very attractive women.

-A hospital is a great place to form an accapella singing group.

-If your wife is Dominican, it’s ok to consistently confuse her for being Puerto Rican.

-Doctors are some of the funniest people around.

-It is very easy to tie in the troubles and triumphs of your friends’ lives with your own on any given week.