The ep opens with a pretty badass sequence of events at CTU. You knew the Chinese dudes really hadn’t thought this thing through, considering that they kept walking through shitwater on the way over when they could have avoided it all by walking on the side things, so their demise comes as no shock. Liu bitch-slaps Nadia and the hostages are verbally abused while Josh gets spirited away to appease Phillip Bauer.
Jack and Nadia organize a prison break, with Jack breaking Liu’s neck and Nadia somehow keeping a guy from shooting her in the face with an M16 until Doyle busts in and shoots the dude. It was really pretty badass on Nadia’s part. Think it, if you were sitting on the couch with Nadia, you could probably throw her over the back with one hand, but here she is, handling Chinese mercenary guy? Cool, yet hot.

In the meantime, Cheng gets his little mitts on Josh and chats up Papa Bauer, who remains creepy.
When Phillip tells Josh the whole plan is to go to China, Josh has some thinking to do. On the one hand, he’s set up to be a rich white kid in China, and that can’t be bad from the booty angle. On the flip side, Papa tells Josh to “keep an open mind”, so he’s got to expect his pee-pee to get wrongfully touched at some point. Josh makes a break for it in a rooftop chase scene, Cheng is pissed, and Jack gets Cheng in his sights for a moment – but there’s just enough of a pause for Josh to lose his grip on a pipe and for Cheng to magically disappear like he’s the sixth Deadly Venom or something. Jack rescues Josh (similar to Kim for his ability to get imperiled, dissimilar for obvious reasons) for a brief while.

Washington is still bullshit. Lennox is exposed to the bad porn that is Lisa Miller vs. Mark Bishop, and is visibly annoyed. Bishop notes that Lisa is extra cold in the sack, so Lisa smacks him in the face with a wine glass. After strangling Lisa, Bishop gets taken down by the feds, and he plays ball with the ruse. Unfortunately, the Russians are savvy, and don’t buy Powers’ chicanery, demanding proof that the component is recovered, or else they’ll blow some shit up. Instead of threatening the Russians with the Lisa sex-tape,
Powers calls in the chiefs to explain to him that our supposed central Asian base is probably toast. Suvarov gives Powers two hours to come up with the component or it’s adios to Tashkent-com. Meanwhile, Lisa could be brain-damaged due to lack of oxygen to the brain during her recent strangling, which may lead to symptoms such as never changing facial expressions or being unresponsive during sex. In other words, she’ll be the same.

Anyway, since the Chinese lost Josh, they don’t have shit on Papa Bauer, so he calls Powers to broker the deal, the component for Josh and a ticket out. Powers is down with it, and Josh is nabbed by Doyle as Jack is restrained. Division fuckheads take over CTU, but everyone tells Nadia that she’s hot and shouldn’t take shit from anyone. I agree.

Off-Season Romance Update: Marylin is clearly setting herself up to be Jack’s off-season disastrous romance, but is this a good call? Sure, it always seems like a good idea to get back together with an ex after being taken hostage by slicky-boy Asian mercenaries, but has she really thought it through? If Marylin had used some of her downtime at CTU to check out Jack’s file (Appendix D – The Ladies), she would quickly savvy to the concept that hooking up with this guy is a losing proposition. The only survivor so far was the spicy desert-cougar from the start of Day 5, and even she’s got to be looking over her gently-freckled shoulder by now. Marylin should be surfing J-Date before making any final call.

Major character deathwatch:
Mostly, it seems like a no-brainer from the
preview, so check YouTube for spoilers here. However, I don’t think Chloe is going down, it’s too obvious. Or is it? Let us know whom you think is going down at craftinvegas@gmail.com! Or don’t, that’s fine.