I just thought I would share a little story about why the folks working on building a fence in my yard now believe that I am absolutely bat-shit insane.
I am one of those people that gets really wrapped up in the projects I undertake.
Things completely envelop me.
Sometimes, when I get bored, these little projects are merely a figment of my imagination, and I end up living in my own little world for a short period of time.
This is exactly what happened the other day.
Started off fairly innocently, it was a sunny summer day and I had the day off! So I slipped into my bikini, and headed for the sun and hot tub to catch up on my tan.
And then it happened.
My happy bubble was broken by the angry buzzing sounds of the wasps that surrounded my deck.
I, being the equivalent of a 3 year old around bugs, am now all jumpy and want to run for my life.
But on this day, something else was going to take place. I decided that there were entirely too many wasps ruining my good time, and I was going to do something about it, damnit!
I needed a weapon, so I summoned my brother to inform him about my search for arms.
He efficiently brings me the shittiest water gun ever invented.
All right, so it wasn't exactly what I had in mind. I was picturing him letting me borrow his 22 pellet gun, but he decided that idea would not end up well for anyone, and refused to arm me any further than cold water.
Fine. I can live with this.
I get out of the hot tub, newly armed with a gun that does not continually spray a stream of water, oh no, that would be too easy. No, this gun shoots short little bomb like bursts of water, and makes a cool sound in the process. Well alright.
I effectively start targeting my pray, wasps landing on pool deck furniture, fences, the works.
After shooting them and realizing how much fun it is, I sorta start to get into it.
I start cursing, loudly about the "invading wasp army" and how I am "defending my territory". There were possibly POSSIBLY things uttered, such as "you'll never take me alive evil insect demons!!!"
The workers had previously been alerted by my clad presence in a green and white bikini, but now they are starting to look at each other and wonder "what the fuck is she doing/talking about?"
It gets better.
Now I am in a war, full out, and have decided I need new recruits. Obviously, I first enlist the help of the 2 dogs and the cat. Dog 1 seems uninterested, so I turn my weapon on him, the traitor that he is, until he runs away and hits gravel so in my bare feet I can no longer follow. "He just didn't believe in the cause" I say to a worker, who is staring.
Dog #2 was not much more help, but he did in fact enjoy it when I soaked him, so I got frustrated with his stupidity and left.
The cat, almost seemed more willing. She likes to chase and eat things, I assumed she would be a shoe in. However, my hopes were dashed when I figured out she was not chasing the prey, but rather the bursts of water as she thought THEY were the prey.
God we have stupid animals.
Knowing I will have to fight the wasp army alone, I trudge back to the back yard, and begin my torment on the insects once more.
Except, while I was trying to recruit they got smarter. Faster. Hungrier for human flesh. Probably just overall annoyed that I wouldn't leave them alone.
As I play my game, I see that they no longer fear me. They lunge, and I shoot faster. To no avail.
"I'M HIT!!!!!!" I yell as I fling my weapon into the general direction of the wasps. I get stung twice inside the left elbow, and turn and bolt out of the back yard. "YOU'VE ONLY WON THE BATTLE!!!!" is the last phrase heard by the workers, staring open-mouthed at my antics, as I dash into the safety of my home.
And that is now why, they believe that I am either "special" or just really crazy.