9:27 PM Oh man, this new account is so exciting. Now I’ll get to see who’s interested in me. All I have to do is put them on my radar and wait to see if they reciprocate! Let’s see who else is on this site.

9:40 I don’t really know any of these people.

9:45 I guess I do kind of know that one guy. I’ll put him on my radar.

9:46 Nope, nothing.

9: 47 Maybe I should get myself some kind of profile picture. Nuts, this is my roommate’s computer. How about this kid with measles? Yeah, that’s perfect.

9:49 About Me: Measles is a terrible disease.
Books: Measles-The Silent Killer
TV Shows: Home Improvement
Quotes: "I sure hate having mea…" —My brother, on his deathbed
Religion: Will God save me from the measles?
I bet the boys will come flocking now!

9:55 “Your profile has 0 views.”

10:00 Still nothing on that guy. Let’s see if anyone else has joined in the last half hour.

10:12 Michael Jordan? That one’s going on the radar.

10:14 Someone named “Question Mark” has just joined. He sounds hot. Radar that shit.

10:20 SOMEONE HAS ADDED YOU TO THEIR RADAR! How exciting IS this? So exciting! I’m so glad I joined.

10:21 Let’s put every guy I could be even remotely expected to know on the radar.

10:22 Message from my roommate. “You’re on my radar.” Crap.

10:23 Time to de-radar those guys.

10:25 “Your profile has 1 views.” Must be Question Mark.