Smooth is the new black. Being man-pretty today demands more attention to detail and more dedication to style than ever before. For now, being hairless is in. The ladies love a man who’s got two eyebrows a shaved face, smooth back and a chiseled bald chest. It’s a fact.But being truly manly and dedicating one’s self to the cause means going that extra mile. Yes, I’m talking smooth balls.
Today’s modern chicks dig guys with a folliclly challenged scrotum. So what’s a guy to do? It seems impractical to take a Mach 3 to your junk. Not so much impractical as it is totally dangerous. You cut yourself once, it cuts you thee times. None needs parallel scars on his nads.
And what about using yourhairy roommate'sold mustache trimmer? This is a practical alternative. When used carefully, you can get a pretty close shave in minutes. And when you couple the joke value of watching yourroomie trim hischinstrap with the same device, electric shavers are indeed a good way to cut the grass and get a good laugh.
Modern science, however, has brought forth a next generation in male hair removal. Nair, the combination eyebrow-leg-and-pube-remover for women has recently released a product exclusively for men. Yes, now men too can rub-on and rub off unsightly body hair.
When I heard of this I was excited. Finally, no more bleeding balls for the sake of beauty. The day Nair for men came out I was there, ready to get my bottle and enter the future ofball hair removal. Until I read the directions. “Do not use on perianal or genital area.” Those words were like tiny razorblades cutting at my sac. How can a hair removal product exclusively for men not be equipped for use on the balls?
I wasn’t discouraged just yet. I was certain that the warning was just some legal jargon to protect their own balls in case of mishap, and that the product not only could be used on my balls, but it would work like a charm.
The warning was sound.
The instant the cream touched my nads, it was like the apocalypse was taking place suspended from between my legs. To say it burned would be an understatement. But that’s not the worst of it. In addition to the burning, there was extensive shriveling that has not yet subsided. My balls are beyond wrinkled. It was the most horrible and painful experience I have ever had.
They are, however, hairless are more attractive than one could ever imagine, and dammit, they look good.These nuts are now fully equipped for some serious attention. Medical attention.