Dear Mr. Peever,

I regret to inform you that we will not be able to fill your request that we received earlier this month. At this time, Intellicorp is not specializing in sale of its products to private citizens.

I am also concerned that there may be some confusion as to exactly what we do here. For your information, we make automated machinery designed for the manufacturing of small aircraft, and automobiles. It may be an oversight on my part, but no where in our catalogue does it say we make “Murder-bots” and “Sexmatrons”. I apologize if there was any misinformation given to you by our company.

When placing a custom order with our company, it is also preferred if you would be able to include some detailed specifications and some sketches if possible. Our design team would appreciate it if in the future you did not submit scribblings of nude women with an attached note that says “in robot-form”.

Also, I think this is a good opportunity to go over the ordering process with you should you choose Intellicorp in the future. We would appreciate it if you would include specific quantities of our products that you desire. This makes filling your order much easier than trying to figure out exactly what your definition of “a butt-load of robots” is.

You should also know that our robots are made mainly out of aircraft grade stainless steel, allowing us to guarantee our products with an industry leading ten year warranty. However, such construction likely would make any custom robot poorly suited to provide you with “wicked non-stop hummers,” whatever that may entail.

Finally, while we are not able to fill your requests at this time, please rest assured knowing that our Research & Development team is working with the Marketing department in exploring ways to provide such services to the general public.

If you have any questions please feel free to contact me.

Thank you very much for choosing Intellicorp and I hope we can do business with you in the future.

Arnold Hartford
Customer Relations
Intellicorp Robotics