Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Ways to Effectively Cockblock Yourself
May 21, 2007
"So your last name is Goldstein, huh? Well, congratulations for escaping der Fuhrer's wrath."
Wear a blazer with jorts, claiming you were unsure if this was a formal or casual place.
"Man, I coulda sworn you were anorexic, but after watching you wolf down that pasta I was clearly wrong. So, how long have you been bulimic?"
"My you have lovely lips. All the better to S my D with, my dear."
Brag about the fact that you are a level 37 Elf Mage with a +9 Sword of Destiny. (Sorry, this one should be under 'Foolproof Ways to Seal the Deal.')
In the Bedroom
"I can't remember; are you the one that likes the "Her Pleasure" or "Ultra Ribbed" condoms?"
"Man, your O-Face looks pretty stupid wanna keep going?"
"Your choice: Creed's or KoRn's
"Are you into role playing? Yea? Ok, how about I be the girl and you be the guy."
"You wanna try something new? Ok, here's one I've been practicing on my dog."
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.