Jesus! Is it May Already? Kelly is gonna be so mad. I wonder if she's realized yet. Oh man, Valentine's Day was 14 weeks ago. I can't believe I forgot again.

OK. Calm down. It's time for some major damage control.

I don't think she gave me anything either. Maybe I can turn this around. I can make her look like the bad guy. I'll march right into her apartment tonight and say "I can't believe you didn't get me anything for Valentine's Day!" She'll never even see it coming. She'll feel terrible. I may even get a BJ out of it.

She did buy me that A-Team DVD set back in February. That may have been for Valentine's Day. Man, that seems like it was forever ago.

Fuck, fuck.

Maybe it's not too late. Maybe she hasn't realized it yet. If I'm real smooth I can play this off like I planned it.

"Hey babe, I thought we'd celebrate Valentine's Day in June this year!"

No, no, no. That'll never work. I wish I had some conversation hearts left. A "PURR-FECT" or "I LOVE YOU" could really bail me out right about now. All I have left are some old Cadbury eggs from Easter. A couple Valentine's Day eggs aren't going to be enough to get me out of this mess this time.

What the hell, I don't even know why I'm stressing about this. She's been a real bitch these last couple months anyway. She doesn't even deserve a Valentine's Day present.