It has come down to this. If you have a test tomorrow, you skipped studying for it. If you had a hot date scheduled with that busty brunette, you canceled it. And, if your boyfriend still hasn’t become a Lost fan, you finally dumped his ass. Because tonight is IMPORTANT.

More important than money. More important than sex. More important than passing Intro to Psych. And, sure as hell more important than friends, family, or love.

Tonight is LOST SEASON FINALE NIGHT, and no one can get between us and Kate, Sawyer, Jack, Charlie, and Locke.

No one.

Here’s what went down this double-dipped night, in a murdering grenade:

The whole beach heads to the radio tower, leaving Bernard, Sayid, and Jin, who manage to kill seven Others before getting captured. Sawyer, Juliet, and Hurley go back and save them. Sawyer kills Tom. Charlie gets captured in the Looking Glass station, and Desmond eventually comes down to rescue him, followed by Eye Patch. Charlie stops the jamming signal, makes contact with Penny (who is not on a boat, and doesn’t know Naomi). Then, Eye Patch floods the sub with a grenade and Charlie drowns. ********(PLEASE pause for a moment of silence.)****************Ben brings Alex to stop our people from reaching the radio tower. Danielle and her daughter meet. Ben warns that Naomi is not who she says she is. Jack kicks the shit out of Ben. Locke wakes up, sees Walt, and tries to stop Jack from calling for help (by first killing Naomi). But Jack makes radio contact (via GFTS’s phone) with “the boat” who say that they are on their way! A cryptic and unprecedented “flash forward” shows us a terrible life after the island, in which Jack is addicted to pills and booze.

Here’s what we learn:
1. This episode was fucking amazing. I jumped off of my couch and yelled “NO!!!!!!” at least once and “FUCKING KILL HIM!!!!” at least twice (about Ben.)
2. Our biggest question is answered: YES, they get off the island.
3. Ben might be telling the truth about Naomi; Penelope doesn’t know who she is. Which is nuts, because Naomi seemed to know who Desmond and Penny are. So, who is Naomi working for?
4. Ben is nutso. He lies to so many of his people (about the station being flooded, for example). Yet they are all so loyal to him. Why does anyone listen to him? Eye Patch at least questions him, but then he follows orders of shooting the two girls and then killing Charlie. This whole following orders thing “to protect the island” seems like a stretch as a justification.
5. Juliet is trying to gain over the trust of our people. But, she’s so annoying and butts into every conversation. Then, she kisses Jack. Back off, bitch.
6. Jack tells Kate he loves her. But, does he love her, or does he LOVE LOVE her?
7. Walt??? WTF? First of all, his voice is changing, which is crazy. Are we all on board that he was just a vision? And would Locke really kill himself? That was intense.
8. The flash forward was nuts. Was it a dream? Or was it real? Jack references his “father” in it as being alive. And I thought we all agreed he was dead…but, maybe he’s not? Or maybe Jack was too hopped up on OxyContin to even know that his dad is dead? In any case, GREAT fucking plot tool. Does Jack really get super depressed after the island and attempt suicide? Does he think they should have stayed? And, who was in that casket? I’m guessing it was Ben. That’s right, I’m guessing it’s Ben. Deal with it.
9. I know I shouldn’t speak ill of the dead, but Charlie shouldn’t have gone blabbing his mouth about Juliet being a traitor when he knew that cute brunette and cute blonde had radio contact with Ben. That’s what caused Ben to intercept our people. Although, it all turned out ok.
10. Tom wasn’t really such a bad guy. I mean, for a bad guy, he’s pretty good. He’s spared a few of our people and seemed to like Jack. It’s a shame Sawyer killed him, but he said it was for taking Walt.
11. If that flash forward is true, Jack’s ex-wife becomes pregnant, which I’m sure makes him even more depressed. Also, the passengers of Flight 815 are given a “golden pass” to fly wherever they want! Cool! That makes up for everything!
12. Bernard is a dentist, not Rambo. He caves under pressure.
13. The smashing rocks labor was to help build a runway.
14. Do not fuck with Sayid. He can kill a man with his feet. I can’t even pick up a pencil with my feet.
15. When Ben tells Jack to give him the phone so no one will die, I feel like Jack could have handled that differently. He could have given him the phone, let Ben make radio contact, and THEN beat the shit our of him. No? I also have other questions….like, why didn’t Charlie swim out of the porthole? Too small? But, he’s a hobbit!
16. Charlie is a hero. He knew he was going to die, and he took it with grace. He also managed to tell Des that Penny was not on that boat. Also, why the fuck was the Looking Glass communications center linked to Penny? We know that she has some overall connection to the island. But, is she connected to Dharma? Or with Ben and his people? Or is she only looking for Desmond? Regardless, let’s keep in mind that Penny now knows for sure that Desmond and the survivors of Flight 815 are on the island. What will she do to save them?

We can only wait and see.

Have a great summer, guys! Talk it up on the message boards, and I’ll see you next season!

Love,
Alison