The Pentagon is seeking an additional $100 billion to finance the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. And that’s just the money they need for the next three months. Regardless of your position on the war I think it’s abundantly clear that there are way more creative ways to spend that kind of money this summer.

Here are just a few other things you could do with $100 billion:

  1. Purchase all of the tickets to "Pirates of the Caribbean 3" and laugh as people ponder how it could be the highest grossing film of all time yet somehow no one has ever seen it
  2. Buy 100 billion Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers to feed all of Africa and still have a few left over for you and your date, Nicole Richie
  3. Light dog crap on fire in a paper-bag and leave it on Bill Gates’ doorstep with a note explaining that you now own him
  4. Finance the biggest episode in the Prank War series entitled “Streeter and Amir on Mars”
  5. Buy 14 billion kegs for the biggest summer blowout in history (world wide kegger). Remember prohibition? How boring and depressed everyone was? Well, once the Sunnis and Shiites see how funny everyone gets when they’re drunk they’ll probably forget about this whole Civil War thing.