Dear Friend,
I hope the summer months are finding you well as the rainy days of spring have nicely transitioned to warmer and clearer forecasts.One of the many things we all have to deal with in the changing of the seasons is the shift in our wardrobes.We must put away our winter jackets and bring out our flips flops to adapt with the changing climate.This letter is being written in order to discuss a certain article of clothing that has become questionable by many of your peers.An intervention if you will, the topic being your continual use of black wife beaters.
We all understand that the recent arrival of summer as well as the ever-looming threat of global warming means making changes in our daily routine in order to keep cool.This sometimes means wearing articles of clothing that have less fabric such as shorts and even in some cases a sleeveless t-shirt.But you my friend, with your use of black wife beaters have taken this shedding of fabric to a new, seemingly unpractical and unappealing level.
You can ask almost any college-aged man that one of the best tactics in fighting a war against embarrassing underarm wetness is a thin unnoticeable undershirt.The shirt does not overheat its user and soaks up any sweaty residue that your deodorant may let pass through your pores.And there you are with your wildly striped Abercrombie button down with only the bottom half’s buttons done up, exposing your black wife beater underneath and the stubble from a recent chest shave.Though one may believe this to be very sexually appealing, your shirt soon becomes drenched with sweat and smell leaving members of the opposite sex turned off.Your undershirt of choice has proven to be very unpractical.
For those of you who decide to venture outside into the sun’s cosmic rays wearing only your favorite Jack Daniels logo black wife beater, there are also a few arguments against your shirt of choice.
The first applies to all wife beaters in general.Some may argue that a wife beater provides a better tan than a regular t-shirt as it coves less of the arm.But much like a short sleeve dress shirt which says “I want to seem dressed up, but just not have any sleeve beyond my lower elbow” a wife beater and its impending tan line say “ I want to have my chiseled triceps golden bronze, but have my portly torso and rather untidy happy trail be an eggshell white”Its just a question of commitment.Maybe you should do some abs at the end of your next pump session and join the rest of the world with your shirt off at the beach.
The next argument is in regards to the color of said wife beater.Every six grade student who has had a unit on the earths weather systems knows that the color black attracts the sun causing the object, such as a car to become hotter than other objects of lighter colors.Ifyou have to wear a wife beater, why not the white alternative which would provide less harmful UV rays.But you, a mogul of fashion, insist on its black counterpoint which strikes fear into all who tread the boardwalk, daring them to cross paths with your floral pattern board shorts and Teva strap in sandals.It just doesn’t seem practical is all we’re trying to say.
I hope this letter has brought some thoughts to your mind on the topic of your black wife beaters.It is very understandable that if one “got’s it” that he should “flaunt it” but your choice of undershirt and sometimes only shirt is becoming a drawback not only to your own health, but to the overall feelings of those around you.I hope in the future you choose an alternative when it comes to summer apparel.
Josh Provost