Ethan: Let's get straight down to the big question on everyone's mind: is Manu Ginobili eventually going to injure himself flopping? You can't throw yourself to the ground with that much force without somehow hurting yourself at some point.
Amir: Manu is Argentinian, so he's got soccer in his blood. I'm just surprised he hasn't gone for a sliding leg tackle. Let's see Deron Williams handle that.
Ethan: It's great how his flopping and Horry's shot on Nash has turned the Spurs from an underrated, fundamentally sound dynasty that revolved around Duncan's personality into villains. At this point, they're harder to like than the team of rich bullies from the Sandlot.
Amir: "You shoot free throws like a girl!"
Ethan: I'm actually hoping they don't win this year instead of building around athletic big men, GMs would start looking for balding guards who look like sick Muppets and can collapse on cue. Has anyone ever gone bald with less grace than Ginobili?
Amir: Jeff Van Gundy?
Ethan: You try keeping Charlie Ward in line; you'd start to lose your hair, too.
Amir: Well the Spurs are in, but the real question is, what are the odds of them playing the Cavs in the finals. I think everybody, including David Stern would hate to see another Spurs/Pistons finals. Can the NBA Fix an entire Eastern Conference Championship?
Ethan: Two of three from the Pistons at home? That's a tall order for Lebron, but I'd like to see it happen just so the "Is he overrated? Can he win?" debates will stop. Jesus, did Lebron go out and sign Eric Snow, Donyell Marshall, and Damon Jones to be his supporting cast? If not, it's totally not his fault if that team can't go anywhere. They're overachieving as it is
Amir: Maybe so, but LeBron re-signed with the Cavs. I think he should have signed with Chicago when he had the chance. They are a team without a Superstar, and LeBron is a superstar without a team.
Ethan: That's deep.
Amir: James on the Bulls would have given them the shot to win six to eight championships, with a season or two in him to explore a childhood sport say Beach Volleyball?
Ethan: Cavs would be better if they could take the four LeBrons from that Nike commercial and throw them out there. I'm sure Old LeBron is no more fragile than Ilgauskas.
Amir: Speaking of a team in desperate need of support. How many players are the Yankees away from winning a game? I think they just need a couple more big bats
Ethan: Ideally Roger Clemens will be able to pitch every day. For the rest of the season. They've lost five in a row and six of seven now, and it seems like they might be getting in a really deep hole. Clemens might be great, but he's only going to go 5-6 innings, which means their brutal bullpen is going to blow some saves for him. The "Might they trade him?" talk is silly, but this is looking like much more than just Clemens and Phil Hughes can fix.
Amir: I think Nolan Ryan is available.
Ethan: Personally, I think they miss the great clubhouse chemistry Gary Sheffield brought to the team.
Amir: Clearly the "Create an All Star Team from 2001" method is not working for the Yankees. When will they realize you don't need old steroid ridden has-beens to win a World Series. Besides, the past couple years have taught us that the World Series winner is never the team people think it will be. It is obviously predetermined by Bud Selig and Ted Williams' head in a bunker late in January by random lottery and then played out throughout the season to promote parity!
Ethan: Rockies fans, if you exist, that's good news for you! Plus, your team's on a seven-game tear. But I'm still pretty certain you don't exist.
Amir: Stop talking about the Rockies before the Yankees get any more ideas and sign Dante Bichette and Andres Galarraga. Actually, Larry Walker's still got some pop in his bat! Hair that skanky can only power you!
Ethan: So we're debuting a new feature for the summer this week. Since there isn't always a ton of sports news (and since you'd only get pissed if we talked about hockey. Trust me.), we're going to do a quick debate of a general sports question. Throw your own thoughts on the comments section.
Amir: Or don't, whatever.
Ethan:This week's question: Who are the most overrated and underrated players in any sport?
Amir: Most Underrated player is Andre Miller. He lead the NBA in assists in 2002, and is 13th all time in APG in NBA history. Yet he's never been an All Star, and has never made nobody's list of top five point guards. He's not even considered in the running for Chuck's five.
Ethan: To add insult to injury, he has to share the Sixers' billboards in Philly with Andre Iguodala. "Double the 'Dre, Double the Excitement"? You know your team's horrible when all you can do to promote them is "Hey, two of the guys have the same first name!"
Amir: He did more for the Sixers in 56 games then Iverson did the previous 3 years. Including Practice.
Ethan: This is going to be the second Rockies reference in the column, but I'm going to go with Matt Holliday for underrated. They guy is ridiculously good. Last year he hit 34 homers with 114 RBIs and an OPS of .973. This year he's already got 41 RBIs, and his OPS is .955. Seriously, if the Rockies had even one fan, he would be a star. He should definitely start the All-Star game. He won't, but he should. You've never heard of him, have you?
Amir: no. But I've heard of Holidays!
Ethan: Arbor Day's defense in left is shaky at best.
Amir: My most overrated is Tracy McGrady. He's like a bigger, slower Kobe Bryant who can't play defense. He is a great scorer, but a bad leader and to top it all off, he cries. Remember when his Orlando team started the season 1-17? What kind of All Star leads his team to a 1-17 record? New Rule: If you are worth more than $100 Million, no crying and no losing.
Ethan: Plus, he looks like he's constantly about to fall asleep. I want my superstars to be awake, thank you. For my overrated, let's keep it in the family: T-Mac's cousin Vince Carter.
Amir: Good call.
Ethan: Is this guy the most overrated player in the history of sports? Great, he dunked on the French equivalent of Shawn Bradley. He's never really had any playoff success, he completely gave up on the Raptors, and his defense is only a rumor. I've never actually seen him play any. He has this reputation as being a great scorer, but scoring 35 is less impressive when it takes you 38 field goal attempts to get it.
Amir: So we would agree: The McGrady/Carter family reuinion is the most overrated BBQ of all time.
Ethan: Yes. That wiffle ball game is full of overrated pieces of shit. I don't care if the second basemen is seven years old; he needs to make the easy plays.
Amir: Turn two, you retard!
Ethan:Got an interesting fact for us?
Amir: While looking up Andre Miller's assist per game average, I found one amazing aberration. Guess who is 11th in NBA History for his career APG?
Ethan: John Stockton?
Amir:Close. Stephon Marbury.
Ethan: I guess that proves unselfish play doesn't make you a winner. You lied to me, little league coach!
Amir: We're still looking for that "I"in Team as well. I don't know who to trust anymore
Ethan: Until next week, try to do better than Americans at the French Open.
Amir: It's not our faults American's dont have clay courts. We are too busy kicking ass at football and wars!