Vanilla Ice, after receiving a $84.52 royalty check from iTunes sales, looked at his family and said, "No Top Ramen tonight, bitches! The Ice's is going out to dinner!"

[picture:// Rivaled only by John Mark Karr in his Mugshot creepiness!]

The Ice Family walked into Campognolo's, an Italian Bistro in West Palm Beach, FL tonight for a mercifully "quiet evening" away from the "annoying paparazzi" that photographs his every move.

An excited waitstaff called the local newspapers…but they all declined to come down and cover the "event."

Despite a recent appearance on "The Surreal Life" and a genre-breaking hardcore punk album, Vanilla Ice is …wait for the shark to longer a big deal. And as far as I'm concerned, the World is worse off because of that.

Highlights from the evening:1.) His wife is more of a 'participant trophy' kind of wife. According to my sister, Amanda (a bartender at Campognolo who lives in a monastery) Mrs. Ice is "kinda hot I guess. She's blonde at least."

2.) A busboy was offered $200 USD, cash money,by a drunken patron to approach the Iceman's table, kick a beatbox beat, then start rapping "Ice, Ice, Baby." Sadly, he didn't speak English and declined the offer. UPDATE: The paperwork has already been filed to have this man deported.

3.) My sister searched the parking lot for a really nice car…but didn't find any. Either he took a cab over…or he drives a Chrysler Sebring — that sits on 22's.

4.) Vanilla Ice owns a pet wallaroo.