Things, ugg. There are a lot of them on earth. By my count 400,011. Let's knock that down to an even 400 thousand shall we? We should eliminate these 11 things…

11. Oscar the Grouch- Why was this ass invented. Oscar was never nice, always grouchy, and I would imagine his smell would be somewhere south of pleasant. Young kids would watch Sesame Street to have a little fun and maybe learn a little something; Oscar did nothing except act as a poster child for poverty. Maybe on some level he was a giant advertisement on what would happen if you didn’t learn your ABC’s, however I highly doubt three year olds can pick up on the subtle nuances of whatever writer invented Oscar while he was smoking pot and watching Sanford and Son. Oscar was brought to you by the letter d for dumb.

10. Captain Crunch Cereal- I have no problem with cereal cartoons. Snack crackle and pop are my boys while I find the Trix rabbit to be quite humorous. In fact that rabbit should really have kicked the crap out of those kids who wouldn’t let him have any cereal. How are Tricks for kids?? It’s HIS CEREAL. If he wants to eat some of his delicious morning snack, that he invented mind you, he should be able to. No stupid latch key kid should have the authority to tell him otherwise. I hope Count Chocula or Boo Berry murder those cartoon hooligans. Forget the captain; number ten is those kids from the Trix commercial.

9. Delaware- If Delaware fell off the map it would probably be the third story on CNN. Can we just call it Pennsylvania Jr. and get it over with.

8. Algabra- Hey kids you know when your sitting in class and wondering to yourself, “Why am I learning this, I will never use this in real life.” Well if you’re going to be a mathematician when you grow up you will need algebra, if you're not then you will never need this senseless waste of time in your adult life. Drop algebra and take an extra gym class, America’s becoming fatter by the second and algebra will not help you burn those complex carbohydrates. In fact, drop all math classes. It's all down hill after the number 4. Just ask Rocky, and golfers.

7. Mushrooms- They look like they would taste like feet, and they sort of do. If mushrooms disappeared from earth I would sit back and smile the smile of kings. Did you know that the word mushroom translates to the devil in the Chinese language? Well it does.

6. Big momma’s House 2- This movie grossed over 70 million dollars. 70 Million, how bout we don’t make awful movies like this and instead donate the 70 MILLION that was spent to make this movie exist on poverty. I’d vote for a politician that came out and said, “Ok there is an awful movie being made about yet another actor donning women’s clothing with a formulaic plot. Every idiot who was going to see this simplistic example of moronity (moronic + stupidity= moronity, it’s a word), please donate 10 dollars to our poverty fund and we will in turn send you a 10 dollar gift card for ITunes.” How am I not president? 70 Million…really America?

5. Kevin Federline- I have nothing against K-Fed personally, I just worry about his lasting influence on society. Future generations of twenty something guys might take his lead and stop showering, shaving, and thinking all while sporting clich