It's that time of week again! It's Friday, and unless you're a hermit, you're going out tonight to try and get your d wet. Memorize some of the crap below and you're guaranteed to impress at least one girl.¹

¹Impressing girls with this knowledge is not guaranteed.

So let's get to it!

Lindsay Lohan's in the news this again week, and surprisingly not because of her vagina! She fell coming out of a Fashion Week party and fractured her wrist in two places. Her publicist says "there's a pending investigation"