It's hard to tell if a class if worth staying enrolled in let alone attending in the first few weeks. What starts out as a fun lecture course about modern music can quickly turn into a hellish exploration of Christ-figures in feminist lyrics of the 1990s. Luckily I have devised a little system for determining which classes will be worth your time based on what your professor says during those first few weeks. The game is called "Ditch, Drop or Study" and it's just like "Do, Dump or Marry" except you don't play it staring at a yearbook with your high school buddies.
Just follow the instructions below!
Ditch Stay enrolled in the class, but never actually go. Drop Drop the class as soon as possible. Study Without fail, go to every single class.
Ditch the class if you hear the professor say
"Attendance doesn't count but, guys, you should really come to class now and then."
"I always put my lectures online so if you miss a class you can always get the notes there."
"I'm not going to lie, I'll never remember all of your names."
"Wow, I can barely see you guys sitting up there in the back."
"OK, this is Intro to Communications "
Drop the class if you hear the professor say
"And make sure to always cite your references, and God help you if they're not in proper MLA format."
"A paper a week may sound like a lot, but you'llbe surprised how much you learn."
"We're going to skip through the first three chapters because I'm sure you guys read them over the Summer like the enrollment bulletin instructed."
"You'll hear people say this class is hard, that isn't true. The people who say that simply aren't motivated to learn organic chemistry."
"I don't do office hours. If you ever find yourself having a question, this isn't the class for you."
"So let's talk a little about how men have continually held back women in the working world."
"Everyone open to page 1,238 of the book."
Study and attend the class if you hear the professor say
"Guys, so sorry I'm late. If I'm, like, 5 minutes late again, you guys can just leave."
"Does anyone have any good DVDs we can watch? They only kind of have to be about what we're learning.
"Here's the deal, I don't like to grade papers."
"God, I'm so hungover. The first person up here with an Advil gets an A."
"Ok, welcome to The History of Pornography, section 100."
"Is it me or is this book really boring? Right? I knew it wasn't just me."