"Yarrr….I've taken me share of the treasure and put it in T-Bills…Somebody needs to be paying for yeer college."

"There only be one way to win back the Black Pearl ….by refinancing her payment plan. "

"There be no room left in this world for a pirate…or for yeer good for nothing friends that come over late at night…and don't think I don't know they've been drinking me rum…yeer lucky I don't call theer parents."

"Son, I've been meanin' to talk to yee…While I was swabbin' the deck I found a cigarette butt…Me and the crew aren't upset; we just be disappointed."

"Arggg….there not be a better ting in this world than spendin all Sunday watchin' The Masters from 1998 on ESPN2 and then complaining' that yee haven't mowed mee lawn."