Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Frat Guy Tries to Explain Frats to His 7th Grade Brother
June 7, 2007
Can't wait for you to pledge the fraternity.
I don't really think it's for me. Thanks anyway man.
What're you talking about? You've gotta pledge. You're legacy.
I just don't really get what it's all about.
What's there to get? You party wicked hard and hang with your boys.
Why do I need to be in a frat to do that?
Fraternity, not frat. Wouldn't call your country a c*nt would you?
I'd call my country a c*nt. Hey America, you're a c*nt.
(yelling to another room)
, Patrick said a naughty word and he's being unpatriotic.
Whatever. I'm just saying I can hang out with my friends anytime and go out with people I meet at school, that's all.
That's what the fraternity is all about. Brotherhood.
Seems like you guys just hang out with dudes all day.
That's a big part of what we do. That's the brotherhood.
I don't know. I think I'm past that phase in my life.
We hang out with girls too, just not during the day. Then we go slay sorostitutes at night.
I guess my biggest problem is I just don't understand why someone would pay for friends.
I don't fucking pay for friends you anti-American douche.
Then what're you paying for?
. . .
It goes towards, like, keeping the house together and throwing parties and shit. And you better watch your tongue boy. The fraternity will whip you into shape.
Still, I think I'll just do my own thing. Make friends the old fashioned way
The old fashioned way? Fraternities have been in existence for billions of years. It is old fashioned!
Billions of years?
You know what forget it! We don't even want a fagtard like you. Go fuck your fat mother fag.
We have the same mom.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.