Before the first game: Dude, I’m so stoked that it’s summer cause now I can show you guys the mad pong skills I learned at my school this year. It’s ranked a top 20 party school you know. I don’t remember where I heard that, but it’s definitely true. What? You guys play 6 cup? At my school we always play 10, but your house, your rules. Alright, I’ll take anyone as my partner and still run the table all night. I got first game!

After the first game: Dude, were those regulation size Solo cups? I don’t know, they just seemed different than the ones we use at my school. I did make two really solid shots though. Not my fault my partner couldn’t pull through and make four. Anyways, I’m way better at pong when I’m drunk. I’m too sober to play right now. I’m going to go do a keg stand and then I’m running the table!

After the second game: I can’t believe they bounced on us! I know we agreed before the game that bouncing was allowed, but still there should be some kind of gentleman’s code against that sort of thing. If it had been straight shooting I totally would have won that game. I’m going to go find Dave. He’s really good at this game. Together, we’d be unstoppable on that table.

After the third game: Fuck Dave! Did you see that? We were winning and then they sank it in his drinking cup. I’m never playing with that idiot again. Doesn’t he know defense is a third of the game? Well at least I’m in my groove now though. I’m definitely winning the next game I play.

After the fourth game: Yo, those girls were so uncool the way they were distracting us! How am I supposed to sink the last cup when they use their boobs like that? They shouldn’t be allowed to bend over like that and point to them. Seriously. They were probably leaning their elbows over the table too. I should have watched more for that. I think the blonde one was kind of into me too, but no time for that now. Watch this next game and you will see why I am a true beer pong champion!

After the fifth game: Beer pong is for pussies. Anyone want to play flip cup?