[picture:29243|size=small]Ranked teams keep winning, and Notre Dame keeps looking like they plan on losing a lot this year.
We've combined the scientific AP Poll ranking system with the humorous elements of a kid getting hit in the head with a soccer ball to bring you this week's CH Poll.1. Ohio State (59) To paraphrase Mr. Burns, "I don't even know why Ohio State even showed up this week, they barely even won!" 2. Auburn (2) When I saw Auburn beat Buffalo 38-7, I was 80% certain those were the Bills. 3. USC (2) Trojans extended their streak of games with 20 points or more to 55 and extended their streak of games with 0 points or more to 1,203! 4. West Virginia (2) Sure they're fourth in the nation, but can you actually name three of their starters? The answer is yes. Pat White, Steve Slaton, and Darius Reynaud. 5. Florida Gators have Alabama, LSU, Auburn, and Georgia in the next month. Plus midterms!!! 6. Michigan Remember when beating Notre Dame was considered impressive? 7. Texas Imagine how good the Longhorns would be with Vince Young, or better yet, Kerry Collins as their QB! 8. Louisville Louisville's schedule looks pretty rough until you realize they're not playing basketball. Then why the hell is Rick Pitino their offensive coordinator! 9. LSU Actual opening sentence to the LSU/Tulane recap. "LSU brought Tulane's 14-game span away from New Orleans to a merciless and painful end." Nice going LSU, haven't they been through enough!? 10. Georgia Georgia almost lost to winless Colorado, and 99% of Yahoo! users had Georgia winning the game. Some say, the thought of dissappointing that many Yahoo! users really instigated the fourth quarter comeback. 11. Virginia Tech VaTech looks like it sorely misses a Marcus Vick type to injure an opposing player when necessary. 12. Notre Dame Hey, Notre Dame, if you ever do decide to join a conference, one suggestion: Not the Big 10. 13. Iowa Next up for Iowa is the number one team in the country: The Ohio State sweater-vests. 14. Oregon Oregon had a bye this week and took the time off to buy Pac-10 Referee Gordon Riese anything he damn well wanted. 15. Tennessee Are you from Tennessee? Because youre the only 15th ranked team in the country I see! (That joke woulda killed if they beat Florida) 16. Oklahoma Bob Stoops: "See how much better we play with competent refs, and when our horrible defense doesnt give up 500 yards of total offense!?" (not direct quote) 17. TCU Texas Christian doesn't play another ranked opponent this year. And their mascott is the Horned Frog. Things are really looking up! 18. Clemson The Tigers 52-7 victory seems really impressive, but they were up 52-0 after three. You can't have a melt down like that at Virginia Tech on October 26, boys! 19. Florida State Nothing like a game against Rice University to really get your confidence back. Just ask Bobby Bowden. "It's not like it was Notre Dame out there." Nevermind. 20. California Golden Bears still looking great in the fictional "What if USC Didn't Exist" Pac-10 conference. 21. Nebraska Nebraska University students: "See! I told you we would beat the Trojans!" Troy University students: "Wow, we haven't heard that before " 22. Boise State Hawaii lost to Boise St 34-41, but on the plus side, they got a chance to leave that dreadful island of theirs and visit Idaho. 23. Rutgers Scarlet Knights are in the top 25 for the first time in thirty years. When you put 56 up against Div 1-AA Howard University, people take notice. 24. Georgia Tech Stud receiver Calvin Johnson just can't wait to get drafted by the Detroit Lions and begin sucking. 25. Missouri Tigers have a defensive end named Xzavie Jackson, so once scrabble value gets included into rankings, look for Missouri to crack the top 15.