[picture:29243|size=small]Ranked teams keep winning, and Notre Dame keeps looking like they plan on losing a lot this year.

We've combined the scientific AP Poll ranking system with the humorous elements of a kid getting hit in the head with a soccer ball to bring you this week's CH Poll.

1. Ohio State (59) – To paraphrase Mr. Burns, "I don't even know why Ohio State even showed up this week, they barely even won!" 2. Auburn (2) – When I saw Auburn beat Buffalo 38-7, I was 80% certain those were the Bills. 3. USC (2) – Trojans extended their streak of games with 20 points or more to 55 — and extended their streak of games with 0 points or more to 1,203! 4. West Virginia (2) – Sure they're fourth in the nation, but can you actually name three of their starters? The answer is yes. Pat White, Steve Slaton, and Darius Reynaud. 5. Florida – Gators have Alabama, LSU, Auburn, and Georgia in the next month. Plus midterms!!! 6. Michigan – Remember when beating Notre Dame was considered impressive? 7. Texas – Imagine how good the Longhorns would be with Vince Young, or better yet, Kerry Collins as their QB! 8. Louisville – Louisville's schedule looks pretty rough until you realize they're not playing basketball. Then why the hell is Rick Pitino their offensive coordinator! 9. LSU – Actual opening sentence to the LSU/Tulane recap. "LSU brought Tulane's 14-game span away from New Orleans to a merciless and painful end." Nice going LSU, haven't they been through enough!? 10. Georgia – Georgia almost lost to winless Colorado, and 99% of Yahoo! users had Georgia winning the game. Some say, the thought of dissappointing that many Yahoo! users really instigated the fourth quarter comeback. 11. Virginia Tech – VaTech looks like it sorely misses a Marcus Vick type to injure an opposing player when necessary. 12. Notre Dame – Hey, Notre Dame, if you ever do decide to join a conference, one suggestion: Not the Big 10. 13. Iowa – Next up for Iowa is the number one team in the country: The Ohio State sweater-vests. 14. Oregon – Oregon had a bye this week and took the time off to buy Pac-10 Referee Gordon Riese anything he damn well wanted. 15. Tennessee – Are you from Tennessee? Because youre the only 15th ranked team in the country I see! (That joke woulda killed if they beat Florida) 16. Oklahoma – Bob Stoops: "See how much better we play with competent refs, and when our horrible defense doesnt give up 500 yards of total offense!?" (not direct quote) 17. TCU – Texas Christian doesn't play another ranked opponent this year. And their mascott is the Horned Frog. Things are really looking up! 18. Clemson – The Tigers 52-7 victory seems really impressive, but they were up 52-0 after three. You can't have a melt down like that at Virginia Tech on October 26, boys! 19. Florida State – Nothing like a game against Rice University to really get your confidence back. Just ask Bobby Bowden. "It's not like it was Notre Dame out there." Nevermind. 20. California – Golden Bears still looking great in the fictional "What if USC Didn't Exist" Pac-10 conference. 21. Nebraska – Nebraska University students: "See! I told you we would beat the Trojans!" Troy University students: "Wow, we haven't heard that before…" 22. Boise State – Hawaii lost to Boise St 34-41, but on the plus side, they got a chance to leave that dreadful island of theirs and visit Idaho. 23. Rutgers – Scarlet Knights are in the top 25 for the first time in thirty years. When you put 56 up against Div 1-AA Howard University, people take notice. 24. Georgia Tech – Stud receiver Calvin Johnson just can't wait to get drafted by the Detroit Lions and begin sucking. 25. Missouri – Tigers have a defensive end named Xzavie Jackson, so once scrabble value gets included into rankings, look for Missouri to crack the top 15.