1. South Park's "anti-gingerism" becomes a reality. (Still no news reports of anthropomorphic feces.)
  2. Hungarian rappers promote global peace while declaring war on R & B.
  3. Man sues over an everlasting boner, prompts endless "hung jury" zingers from snickering judge.
  4. X-rated origami: the sexiest paper innovation since Hustler hit the stands.
  5. 1,600 musicians play "Smoke on the Water" during largest Deep Purple jam session ever — which is also first Deep Purple jam session ever.