With classes a distant memory and with warm weather upon us, it’s easy to get tricked into thinking the summer lasts forever. And trust me, you don’t want to be one of those people who stumbles into September wondering where all the time went. So to make sure you get the most out of your season and feel completely fulfilled when the Fall semester rolls around, I’ve compiled a checklist of things to do this summer to guarantee you an amazing time.
You may think that I’m specifically targeting the fellas here, but I think this sentiment rings true whether you’re a guy OR a girl. First I’ll speak to the guys. Let’s face it: you‘ve known your friend’s girlfriend for a while and you never really thought she was anything special until she started dating your friend. All of a sudden she seems 100% hotter – is it because she’s doing something different? Of course not – all she did was move herself from the “just a girl” category into the “off-limits” category. Of course it doesn’t hurt when you’re all hanging out on the beach and you see her in a bikini, realizing for the first time how big her boobs actually are. The smart thing to do here is to make a move. Hooking up with a friend’s girlfriend is a great way to feel like a kid again and start up some old fashioned controversy. Your friend will probably get over it and you’ll have the fun of knowing that you did something dirty. It’s a situation where really everyone wins.
And for the ladies, there’s nothing better for a guy than seeing one of his “girl friends” make out with his girlfriend. Chances are he’s wanted to hook up with you at some point (if he hasn’t already), so he’ll be able to live vicariously through his girlfriend and have something new to beat off to later. On this note, girls, if you’re dating a guy who for some reason DOES NOT approve of you making out with other chicks, dump him immediately because he sucks.
Mini-golfing is pretty kick ass, no matter what anyone says. No summer is complete without it. Up the ante by having the player with the worst score buy everyone ice cream!
I won’t recommend “cheese heroin” or anything hardcore like that, but summer is an ideal time to experiment with a new recreational mind-altering substance. There’s no need to become a junkie, but get a group of friends and eat a packet of morning glory seeds or something and let the good times roll. More likely than not, you’ll end up with a great story of how Tommy tried to eat a skateboard or how Jill peed herself in Taco Bell. While the intense fear and delusion that accompany these kinds of drugs may last for what feels like an eternity, the memories of your crazy high stories are what truly lasts a lifetime.
Get a Sno-Cone
These delectable delicacies are fantastic any time of year, but I simply can’t imagine a better feeling than chomping on a freezing cold Sno-cone on a scorching hot day.
Is it just me, or does summer feel like the best time to incite riots and commit random acts of violence? Maybe it’s the sun shining or maybe it’s the humidity, but for whatever reason, each and every year that summer rolls along I feel compelled to attack someone based purely on their race or religion. With all the war and genocide that’s taking place on a global scale, it’s important not to lose that sense of independence and nationalism right here in your town. By committing a hate crime in your own backyard, you’re really celebrating how proud you are to be an American, and your victim is sure to agree. It’s like the Fourth of July without the barbecue!
Have a Water Balloon Fight
What’s a better summer activity than a good, old fashioned water balloon fight? Is there a certain someone you’ve got a crush on, but are afraid to say it to? Find out if they’re into you too by hurling a water balloon at them. If they get wet, they like you too!
So here’s to summer and all the fun that comes along with it. Hope you all are having a great one so far!