Me: What do you want to do tonight, babe?
Her: I don't know. Let's go down to the basement and talk about it.
Me: Why do you always want to go to the basement? It's dark, and wet, and gross.
Her: Ugh, you're so not spontaneous.
We hear shattered glass and heavy breathing.
Me: Did you hear that?
Her: Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?
Me: Nine’s enough.
Her: Quick, turn off the lights!
Me: Turn them off? Why?
Her: That’s what it said to do in the forbidden videotape I watched to calm down after I was in that hit-and-run.
Me: Why don’t we go to Chili’s and – wait, what?
Her: Hey, there's some kind of tunnel over here that leads underground! And a trail of what appears to be red paint… I love art! Let's see where it leads.
Me: Sweetie, please.
Her: It'll be fun. We can recite dark incantations to pass the time. "Non bagno te, bagno il tuo cuore! Che sempre pi