Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
A Poem for Shel
June 20, 2007
You really should not have included a photo;
You look even worse than Hernando Desoto.
Your beard and your eyes, your 'stache and your balding,
You may not have heard, but they're all so appalling.
It's a wonder, I swear, you became a rich poet
Though you looked in the mirror and said, "Yes, I'll show it."
By "it" I, of course, mean that grizzly-ass face,
Which would make any woman go run for her mace.
Your eyes do not twinkle. They're just dark and insane.
How could you have thought you would rocket to fame?
But you did, Mr. Silverstein; somehow you did
Though your picture should surely have frightened a kid.
You look like a pervert, a creep, and a sleaze,
But nevertheless, kids and parents say, "Please,
May I have a new copy of A Light in the Attic?"
Even though you sure look like a dingy crack addict.
You're really not pretty. You don't even look kind,
But all of those fans just seem not to mind.
I guess that your rhymes are too good to deny,
So Shel, what I'm saying is you're a swell guy.
Submit your hilarious poems to The Poetry Corner! Write one, post it as an article, and send the link to
Check out past poems
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.