Jeff: This chipmunk has taken the Internet by storm. He's still behind Hilary in the polls, but he's already passed Obama.
Amir: In the year 2050, when the World Wide Web has come and gone like the VCR and the electric car, there will just be three videos that will still remain, in some other form. They are: Dramatic Chipmunk, Dramatic Chipmunk in top hat and monacle, and an as-yet-to-be-shot dramatic chipmunk 300 trailer remix.
Jeff: When Chuck Norris watched the video and finally shed a cancer-curing tear. You still haven't answered my question about why you called it a chipmunk though.
Amir: YouTube is contemplating changing its name to Dramatic Chipmunk Tube. Their only concern, as we type this right now, is whether or not their servers handle the impending onslaught of traffic.Jeff: If you stop dramatic chipmunk in the middle, you'll have five years of bad luck.
Amir: Yesterday, I asked 100 ten-year-olds who their favorite parent was. 70 said mommy, 28 said daddy, and two said dramatic chipmunk which is up one from last years poll.
Jeff: The motion picture academy is already scrambling to redefine the rules of what defines a film for this year's Oscars. Vegas oddsmakers have put the odds of the chipmunk winning best actor at 2-1. He's even money for winning NBA rookie of the year.
Amir: If you turn off the light in the bathroom, turn and face the mirror , and say, "I think its funny, I just don't get what the big deal is. I didn't laugh or anything" three times in a row you will die.
Jeff: Even though it's actually a prairie dog, the buzz on chipmunks has never been higher. Hollywood has decided to make a $100 million live-action Alvin & The Chipmunks movie. Brad Pitt is going to be playing Alvin, and he's actually paying the studio $5 million just to do it. A prairie dog is going to play Dave, and the whole thing's a murder mystery
Amir: Washington DC now stands for Washington Dramatic Chipmunk, which is great for everybody because nobody knew what District of Columbia even meant.
Jeff: Undercover American forces got a tape of the Dramatic Chipmunk to Osama Bin Laden. After watching it he didn't say anything, he just went into his basement and hung himself.
Amir: All right, what is your favorite NON dramatic chipmunk video of the week?
Jeff: You're kidding, right?
Amir: Okay good. You passed the test. You still have a job.
Jeff: It's an honor to serve the chipmunk. We'll be back next friday.
Amir: Which will hopefully be named Dramatic Chipmunkday.
Jeff: Well, after saying that Amir walked to the middle of the room, drew a nickel plated pistol from his holster, and fired a bullet into his mouth. I for one could not respect him more.